Sunday, April 30, 2006

pooper scooper

dave and i have lots of conversations with ellen about various jobs she could have when she gets older. we talk about all kinds of possibilities - everything from mcdonalds to a police officer to a postal worker to a librarian. pretty much anytime she notices someone working we think about it as a possibility and what might be fun about it. for instance, she really thought sweeping would be fun about working at mcdonalds. here's the latest: (during a diaper change) ellen: I really like poop! dave: you do?! i know i know, maybe when you get older you can go around to people's yards and pick up all the dog poop. would that be a good idea? ellen: yeah!! my poor, poor baby.

Saturday, April 29, 2006

a little less pleasant and a little more mean

i am becoming convinced that there are not even ten level feet of street in our little town. those tiny little inclines that you don't even notice in a car are painfully obvious to my pleasant** little legs. i bought a bike yesterday so i could start working on becoming more lean and mean (as in a lean-mean-muscle-machine). i went out this morning and did a little loop of the town and just about killed myself. i wasn't so much out of breath or anything, but my legs weren't real steady when i got off and i was this close to puking when i came inside. seriously everywhere i rode, everywhere, was either an incline or the following decline. i wonder if its better for muscle development to do short spurts (incline) and rests (decline) or slow and steady (that level land in l.a. i took for granted). a couple days ago i drove around trying to plot out a trip that would be the proper amount of miles i was trying for and started to notice the hills and dips then. i realized i was never going to survive on my cruiser and i needed a bike with gears. so off ellen, isaiah and i went to target yesterday. its not the easiest thing in the world to take a bike off a rack and steer both it and a shopping cart of kids around a store. so now i have an extra bike - anybody want a beautiful black cruiser that's seen pretty much nothing but the inside of the garage for its entire two years of life? i need to sell it.

Friday, April 28, 2006

isaiah's blue chair

"> here's isaiah walking around. it's not an especially intriguing video, but you can get a feeling for how excited he is to be mobile, and see the treasures he likes to cart around. (by the way, he's been walking completely on his own for four or five steps before he crashes down the last few days. i suppose i should get a video of that too.)

random pictures for your viewing pleasure

here is ellen holding her "kiddos". from left to right we have unnamed kitty (the one in a back. we're currently working on a name), kitty kitty kathy, kittykitty snoozins (the gray tabby) and lola (pretty much only her red hair is visible.) ellen likes to take her kiddos places, put them down for naps (during which we all are required to whisper) and put them in trouble chair. on wednesday when baking cookies i learned something random - cookies with nuts don't cook at the same rate as those without. (the darker ones in back are nut free)weird.

Tuesday, April 25, 2006

mm-mm good

" here's a small snippet of isaiah REALLY enjoying his apple sauce.

self portrait tuesday (on tuesday no less!)

i made some cookies for dave to take to work today. since lent is over and i can eat whatever i bake, i've pretty much completely quit baking again. it seems i have no desire if i can actually eat it. weird.

Sunday, April 23, 2006

ellen sayings and isaiah doings

ellen has entered the 'why?' stage. she has never been one to settle for boring normalcy and so she doesn't ask why like most typical 2 and 4 year olds. instead, she peppers us with "what for?" constantly. over and over and over again. just like in the cartoons and the movies that you think are just funny exaggerations. me: blah blah ellen: what for? me: because blah blah ellen: what for? me: because ellen: what for? me: how can you possibly be asking what for about that explanation. ellen: what for? me: what for? ellen: what for? i finally understand why parents say 'because i'm the parent. that's why.' we've been listening to a fair amount of u2 lately. ellen always likes to know what we're listening to and what the name of the song is. the last couple times she's come into a room when u2 was on, she said: "ah! i know who this is! it's "I love you too again!" isaiah has been going to town walking behind a little plastic chair of ellens. he pushes that thing all over the whole house and puts various treasures on the seat to take along with him. he has just a little trouble going between the pergo and carpet, but otherwise he's unstoppable. he's quite a gifted turner and chair manipulater. and he's pretty fast too - it's wise to stay out of his way. tonight at dinner he refused to eat. which is shocking for isaiah. as i tell the people in the nurseries he goes into - food fixes 95% of his problems. so not eating is a big deal - makes me pretty concerned he's on the way to being really sick again. but, not to worry - he was simply on a hunger strike. he refused to eat until he could hold a utencil. he has apple sauce every night (a good medicine conductor) and he gets very excited when it's just about gone and its his turn to hold the bowl and spoon. he does a pretty good job too. usually he'll eat a lot and then look forward to that. but tonight, applesauce was the only thing he ate. i refilled the bowl several times, but i can't imagine its very filling. both of these isaiah doings are completely picture worthy, but i've been lazy and haven't grabbed the camera. really, they're video worthy and that always breaks the camera, but i promise to do it soon.

Saturday, April 22, 2006

yard work

like me, dave is experiencing some new found freedom with the end of the semester so close. unlike me, dave is actually being productive with this new energy. part of today saw dave outside, attempting to mow down our meadow. he made a lot of progress, although perhaps not obviously so to the naked eye. much of his time was spent dispensing of the rocks in the grass left over from my morning of digging the car out of the mud (months ago), discovering an ant colony (maybe maybe this is the enemy camp that we've been fighting for so long!), disassembling and dumping out the pool (from last year) and trying to get as much grass as possible to fit in our limited yard debris trash can. yard work and i have a love hate relationship. on the one hand being outside in the sun and working the yard just feels so right. again, its that little happy-contented-this-is-a-great-thing feeling that i get sometimes. and its so nice to have a yard that you can be proud of and to actually accomplish something with your hands and the force of your back. on the other hand, bugs and i do not get along. and there are so incredibly many of them. everywhere. and they're so crawly. and they have no inhibitions about crawling right over top of me. and so mostly i admire others doing yard work. but sometimes my leather gloves make me feel invincible and then its love again.

Thursday, April 20, 2006

shadow chasing

isaiah has discovered his shadow and has been mercilessly chasing it ever since. just kidding. he's discovered it, but just waved to himself and crawled forward and waved again. but i liked the way that first bit sounded.

books please?

next week is our last week of class before summer break. My prof doesn't believe in finals and actually gave (what i think is an)incredibly small reading assignment. So i'm feeling like i'm free and can do whatever i want. not that i don't usually, but i always have that homework cloud hanging over me when i do. so i've started reading again. last week (a bit premature, i know. but i was getting antsy) I read Eragon. and now i've got the next in the series, Eldest. I really liked the first, so I'm looking forward to this one too. If you've never heard of them, they fall into the dragon/fantasy genre. The author was 15 when he started the first book and he became a best selling author at 19. knowing this going in, I read with a generous attitude (as normally I'm just a touch critical....who me?). but it wasn't necessary. they're really good books. the most impressive part to me was the plot line - somehow i just didn't expect a teenager to develop such an extensive plot line. The books are about the size/length as the later Harry Potter's and they read about the same (if it takes you a day to read harry, you'll finish this in about the same time) anyway. I'm looking for recommendations on what to read next. I have an incredibly hard time when i go to the library trying to find something i want to read. it seems that about 90% of the books i pick up just seem lame or cliche or whatever when i read their little synopsis. maybe the synopses can't do justice to the real story - but that is what they are there for, right? I'm considering joining/starting some sort of book club so i can get some recommendations and have the excuse of a deadline to finish reading some books. I'm thinking of starting something since i can't seem to find anything in my immediate town. i was thinking about doing something online, but that's intimidating for some reason. I tend to be rather quite for the first several months in a new group. in person, everyone gets used to you and thinks you are quiet or shy or whatever and then when you actually say something they're all so excited you're 'joining' the group. that's not the reason i do it, but it is kinda a fun result. when you do that online, however, you're just an invisible lurker that suddenly appears. not as much fun. another thing that sounded fun was a sort of book circle, where there's some sort of group of people that pass books around. so you buy it, read it and then send it to the next person and someone else sends you their book. i kinda like that idea too, but i'd like to add some sort of space for the previous person to record what they thought about the book. nothing scholarly, just a little comments. in the mean time, anybody have any recommendations? please, please? next on my list so far are Kite Runner and A Series of Unfortunate Events (recommended by Chris a good year ago I think) anybody?

lent aftermath

perhaps dave was right after all. i didn't lose an ounce. instead i gained 10 pounds. i've been going crazy wanting chocolate and more and more chocolate since sunday so on tuesday i took the kids to the store and they helped me pick out enough to last us for a couple hours. isaiah started in on the kit kat before we even got to the register - he never did get it open, but he sure enjoyed gnawing on the packaging. i ate enough that it made me sick and quenched my craving for a bit. although today i had a bit more. i didn't really used to care so much for chocolate. but since sunday, that is pretty much the only thing i want to eat (and no, i haven't gained another ten pounds since sunday. i think i might metabolize sugar faster or something) it's sorta interesting to be able to so clearly feel the effects of all this sugar - i'm getting headaches again, i'm tired, i feel just sorta slow and off. but i keep munching. i sound like an addict. i denied myself nothing over the past several days, and now i think i'm ready to get back on the wagon of moderation.

Monday, April 17, 2006

isaiah has discovered ellen's necklaces and can put them on himself. i'm going to be on the lookout for something more manly looking for him.

imago's easter

imago had an after church easter carnival complete with bounce houses, huge slides, egg hunts, face painting, spin art, balloon-animal-making clowns. isaiah and ellen both liked this area set up for the babies/toddlers. isaiah may have liked it a bit too much. and after several minutes of conversation ellen agreed to have her face painted... as long as i did too. they both were big fans of the balloon animals and dave did the spin art with isaiah and i did with ellen (i'm afraid we made a bit of a mess...) but we both forgot to pick it up. it was pretty fun and the popcorn was a tasty easter feast.

Sunday, April 16, 2006

i can't think of a clever title

we're kinda nutso parents. maybe i should leave dave out of it and just talk about myself. I'm a kinda nutso parent. i have no real interest in teaching ellen things that she's expected to know. who cares if she can say the alphabet or count past ten? she'll learn it in preschool. i'm much more interested in teaching her things that she really has no business learning until she's much older. like all 50 states and their locations for instance. or how to read. it's true, she has trouble singing the alphabet with no mistakes start to finish, but she knows what sound all the letters make and dave's been helping her learn to put them together and sound out words. or anatomy. she's taken a huge interest in animal anatomy ever since she found a page in her 'big heavy book' aka animal encylopedia that showed various animal anatomy. she now identifies kidneys, hearts, lungs, windpipes, stomachs, intestines, bones, brains, spinal chords etc in these animals and herself. or to be trilingual. i suppose there's really no age appropriateness for learning languages, and now is really the best time of all, but it qualifies because most two year olds aren't learning two other languages beside their native tongue. so i seem to be on track to produce an eccentic genius daughter. one who will be a calculus prodigy or speak 100 languages but will have trouble tying her shoes. who really needs to learn to tie shoes when there's velcro?

i think i might be just a bit crazy

i really like reading through my archives. i like remembering what we've done and seeing how the kids are growing/progressing and being shocked at how things that I thought happened a long time ago, really happened just a few short weeks ago. for instance, we took the tray off of isaiah's high chair so he can eat at the table with us. and lo and behold, he no longer bangs his head against the back of the chair scooting all over the place. he sits calmly and nicely and eats his food. poor guy was lonely and wanted to be a big kid. but my point was it seems like we did that a long time ago, when really there are pictures of him with the tray as recently as march. i also learned somethings about myself when looking through the past last night. 1) my nose ring is on the wrong side! when i looked at it in the pictures, it looks backwards. maybe that's the mirror effect or something, but its a very weird feeling to feel like its on one side and then you see it somewhere else. 2)i practice quite a bit of self doubt and second guessing. especially when i'm irritated about something - i tend to be far too understanding and rationalizing of other peoples behavior and blame myself for whatever the problem is. well, not really blame, maybe more of see my own role as bigger than it really is. 3) i go through cycles - so, for instance, i really like baking for a while, and then mysteriously quit for a month or two and forget all about it. and then i rediscover it and get all excited about it again, while somehow never really remembering that this is something i've always liked. and that's all i can remember right now.

Saturday, April 15, 2006

SUGAR!

easter is tomorrow and i'm looking forward to it in a way i never have before. i am actually giddily excited. but i'm not sure i'm excited about the 'right thing' - i'm really really pumped about eating sugary things. i tried to plan something sweet to cook tomorrow to indulge in, but i couldn't decide. so while the actual date is much more at the forefront of my mind, its not really a 'spiritual forefront' so to speak. for instance, my title to this post probably should be more like "EASTER!" i've been thinking the last few days if i'll do this no 'sugar-as-the-main-attraction' thing again...and i go back and forth. one day i decided no way, its too frustrating. and another day i decided, really this is quiet good for my character and soul and etc and i started looking forward to next year's lent. and today i'm just not sure. i'm not sure if it accomplished its goal, or even what the real goal was. (and i just have to mention, dave conceded a couple days ago that really it was a good idea to break the fast on sundays because it keeps it all at the front of your mind instead of just becoming your new lifestyle you don't think about. i agree. )

oh yeah, i remember now.

i remembered my own miracle method for producing obedient children yesterday - bone-tiring consistency. any small small little infraction earns a repercussion. not anything ridiculous but something to fit the crime. i tend to forget about this because you go hyper-aware and hyper-consistent for a bit and then everything turns rosy and you don't really have to pay such close attention because your child has become an angel. and then very gradually, over several months, your child drifts back to that testing monster-y state where you just have no idea what to try next and really just want a nap. so about every six months or so i remember to be consistent again and it produces beautiful results, and quite quickly too. i did this yesterday and we were all much happier. although, there were still two biting incidents. when ellen was going to be she was telling me about things that she liked, and things she didn't. she told me that 'sometimes i really like biting. and sometimes i don't. but i sometimes i really like it." first i told her no, she didn't like it. and then i realized that was ridiculous to tell he what she liked or not and told her that no matter how much she liked it, she must never do it again. today we were bite free. i wonder if that has anything to do with having both dave and i here to keep her busy and supervised. most biting incidents happen when ellen and isaiah are playing nicely and i'm in the same room doing something else.

easter egg hunt

in our town, the fire department sponsors a city easter egg hunt. they take over a baseball park and divide the kids up by age and toss a ton of eggs out on the grass and let them go at it. it's pretty fun. here dave and ellen scope it out and make a plan and try to stay as dry as possible. the waiting, waiting, waiting for the hunt to to begin. they tell you to get there early because they will start on time (in a tone that sounds almost like a threat) so you get there a couple minutes before and it seems like an endless five minutes before the horn blows and the poor kids can pick up the eggs (that are about a foot away) that they've been staring at. and they honk the huge fire engine horn to get everybody started. so on our field with all the little little kids everyone kinda freezes when it goes off and decides whether or not to cry or grab eggs. ellen sizes up the field, determining which group of eggs to hit first and the after hunt fun...ellen enjoys candy and isaiah was happy to enjoy putting the eggs in the basket, taking them out, spinning them on the floor and chasing them around the kitchen

Thursday, April 13, 2006

miracle methods, please

ellen has been testing, testing, testing. as fun as the last month was with her, this one is shaping up to be pretty unfun. all day long we're battling and sitting in trouble chair and losing things and pretty much going out of my mind. now she's added biting isaiah to the mix. she's bitten him once a day for the last three days. obviously what i'm doing is not curing her. any good ideas on curing her of this one?

more baking thoughts

in class this morning, i had two new genius ideas for how to keep baking and avoid putting on those pleasant pounds - 1 - cut the recipe in half! i know, sometimes i suprise myself with my brilliance. my problem tends to be a disbelief in moderation. if somethings there, i'm going to eat it till it's gone. so if i only cook half as much... 2- bake healthier. i bring something just about every week to class and one of my classmates keeps telling me i'm poisoning myself with all that margarine and hydrogenated oil (sp?). so maybe i'll try experimenting with butter and oils and applesauce in the next few weeks. problem with that is, it's just not as tasty. maybe that will help too.

Wednesday, April 12, 2006

mail order bakery

so i have a new/another goal - i want to bake my way through the deserts in all of my cookbooks. maybe one or two a week. my next thought after "how fun!" is who am i going to get to eat all of it for me so i don't get pleasantly gynormous and die of sugar shock. still working on that one, but one idea i have is to start a mail order type thing where i'll mail my customers a sampling of that weeks baking (for a fee of course). all kinds of people would have two of their deepest desires satisfied - exciting mail and delicious homemade tasty things. the things slowing me down are - - i wonder if i would need to get a food handler's permit, or be certified in some way? - where in the world would i find customers? it doesn't seem like the sort of business one can advertise online very easily...who would want to pay for baked goods from some stranger who could be anybody? - how does one ship a cake or a pie?

train sets are exciting

isaiah was enjoying his train set today. his main interest lies in the bridge and in shoving the cars under it. that's pretty much all he does. he's been doing this laugh lately - where he sticks out his tongue and says hhhuh! hhhahh! i was trying to capture it... when i had the flash on at the beginning after about the third picture i got this look from him - "are you seriously going to keep flashing that thing at me??!"

self portrait tuesday (on wednesday again)

my favorite place to work is in bed with the laptop. it gives me that little happy feeling, like when everything is neat and picked up or things match nicely.

Tuesday, April 11, 2006

isaiah's a genius

he's been practicing taking steps. he'll only do one at a time, but i think any minute he's going to bust out running. he's happy to walk for a long time holding onto fingers, even for a while holding on with just one of his hands. and you can tell he's only using you for mental support. he's also got a couple signs down - he nods his head yes, and shakes it no. and claps his hands for more, waves goodbye - mostly to books after we read them - and does the sign for drink. and he says mama, dad (da!) ellen (nana) balloon/ball (ba). yesterday he discovered matchbox cars and fell in love. he likes to hold one in each hand and when he's on the floor he pushes them around and says "vroom vroom" (maybe more like "vaaa vaaa!")

isaiah's birthday weekend pictures

mom and wood sent me the pictures they took while they were here last weekend for isaiah's birthday. (thanks!) here are some of the one's mom didn't post. (i think) ellen really likes wearing jewelry and mom and wood really liked buying it for her. ellen really feels like she's getting away with something when she sneaks my hat. after several months of holding on to christmas money, dave decided one saturday he wanted a moped again. so after church the next day, we stopped at someone's house that he had found somewhere and now he is once again a proud moped owner. and wood seemed to like it too. isaiah has been thrilled out of his mind with balloons. he knows how to hold them (as you can see) and he can also palm them (with the squishy ones) he loves to hit them and follow them around and just touch them. in fact he was even saying balloon (ba!) till we got rid of them all. we went into a soap store here in town and ellen has been quite enamored with the pink soap for some time. the lady offered to cut her off a sample and she carried it around for a couple days before i finally talked her into keeping it in her makeup bag (next to the adhesive bandage tape stuff, lip gloss, mirror and toe seperator for painting nails). isaiah thinks it tastes pretty good also. and its true, isaiah did get to try all kinds of new things since he's no longer a baby. and most of them did include sugar in some way. this popsicle was a big hit (who knew he would like lime?) and it was pretty funny to watch him suck on it, sit up for minute and slowly, very slowly, come back down for another lick. getting a ride to church and finally sizing up the cake after we helped him blow out the candles. i made individual carrot cakes (always a good idea to have individual cakes when it's a baby/toddler birthday) and we'd been snacking on them sans frosting on saturday (because then it's only carrot bread, and perfectly good for you) so isaiah knew he liked it. and the cake induced stupor.

Sunday, April 09, 2006

pleasent isn't always a good thing

i fear i may have to give up baking. i seem to be becoming pleasently plump again. quite pleasant. *sigh*

Saturday, April 08, 2006

maybe its just dirty

i think i know whats wrong with my sewing machine. i believe it needs to be cleaned and to have the needle replaced. i'm guessing sewing with wool felt can really dirty it up. anyway, i'm going to try that and if it doesn't work then i'll take it to the it-takes-a-week repair shop. i'd hate to leave it there and pay someone to tell me to take better care of my machine and clean the lint out occasionally. that would be embarassing.

sometimes the inside is the best part. a lot of times.

today i made challah bread (pronounced holla). i've been wanting to make it for a long, long time. so i finally did. it was much more labor intensive than i was anticipating. and i'm not sure ellen and isaiah appreciated that. but i got two loaves braided and into the oven (although i did forget to add raisins, so i just kinda smushed them into the braid...not the same effect). but i very naively didn't know that things don't cook the same when they're not in the exact center rack so they both came out beautifully burned. the inside is tasty and delicous though. ah well - try again next week. i also had no idea how much flour a loaf - or two- would take...8 cups!!! i almost had to run next door in the middle of mixing. i know - duh. bread is flour with some yeast. but i just didn't realize it would be so incredibly much.

Friday, April 07, 2006

we are getting sooo old.

we have an appointment for a nurse to come out and check us out so we can get life insurance. i feel old.

Thursday, April 06, 2006

pink

the singer. sometimes i really like her. and sometimes i just really don't. but her latest video (Stupid Girls) falls into the i like it category. a lot. i like that she's willing to be a fool and i just think its funny. i tried to link it, but i'm not sure how. you can log onto yahoo music and see it there. (no, i'm not saying i think girls should not play with dolls and dress up. i just like it) (and as long as i'm talking about music videos, i also like the shakira, hips don't lie - fans only version.)

the news

the camera has been very tempermental lately, and its been quite discouraging. thus, a lack of posts. here's some random stuff from our week. the ant man had to come out yet again, and when ellen heard the door bell ring she said, "Oh! Listen! I hear my aardvark!" (...aaardvarks eat ants...) isaiah is finally feeling like himself again. that flu he had stuck around for an entire week, just sorta lingering. And now, he thinks just about everything is hilarious. he's so good natured and funny and agreeable - he must have been feeling really really miserable last week. I've been trying to squeeze every last minute out of my spring break, even pretending its still in progress even as i went to class this morning. Mostly I've been reading books. Bad ones, like the Left Behind series (sorry if you like them.) and good ones like "The Irresistable Revolution". Its a sort of theology book about what its like to actually not buy into our consumeristic economy and to actually care just as much about taking care of others as yourself. Its got lots of big long words that don't really seem appropriate (like the title) - i think i'm sick of the big words all these postmodern authors use - but it's a great book. I was planning to do a whole big review, but i just don't want to right now. maybe in a bit. he's also got a great bit on fasting that i'll have to dig up later and post. after i made those bunnies for ellen and isaiah my sewing machine broke. actually, it broke about five minutes before i was done. so i've been looking for somewhere to take it to get fixed and the only place relatively close that I've found so far said it will take at least a week before they can get it fixed (i'm pretty sure it's a 5 minute problem). So , while it will probably take me just as long, I've decided to try to find a book at the library and fix it myself. Of course, that might turn my five-minute/one-week problem into something much more serious, but it's worth a go. i've got an apron i really want to make. i also checked out a craft book from the library put out by Michaels - kinda like a how to use all the stuff we sell book, and it's quite inspiring. now i want to try glass etching (looks like a cinch!) and making mosaics and again jewelry making. I think maybe i should try to take a class or something at a community college so i don't have to actually buy all the equipment before i know if its any fun. making gel candles also looks like fun, but the gel is incredibly flammable and since you do have to melt it, it doesn't seem like a good hobby to take up when there are toddlers in the house. maybe later. dave got to go to another blazers game last night (the bank is a major sponsor) and this time he got to hang out in a suite and then go down to floor seats - row 4. that musta been nice. and he's been having a great time "dominating" at work. he's really liking it. which is always nice.

Tuesday, April 04, 2006

i had some help folding laundry today dave has taught ellen to pose for the camera - notice her hands folded so nicely there?

Sunday, April 02, 2006

isaiah is 1!

isaiah's birthday was on friday, and he is officially no longer a baby. when ellen turned one, dave felt a huge sense of relief, but it wasn't a big deal to me. with isaiah, however, i've been breathing easier since friday. once a kid is one, it all just seems so much easier - they can eat just about anything, they can sit facing forward in a car seat and the sids rate goes down to almost insignificance. everything is safer after one. somehow i was never worried about ellen, but since isaiah's been sick so often and just not as intuitively easy over all... i'm sooo glad he's one. mom and wood came over and helped us ring in the new year. our camera is still rather moody so i let her take most of the pictures. hopefully either she'll post some soon, or i'll get them and post them. but here's the two or so i got. i talked mom into giving isaiah the wooden train set from ikea. ellen and he both like it almost as much as me.

blue bunnies

i made some bunnies for the kids this weekend. isaiah doesn't care about his at all, but ellen is quite thrilled and has named hers matilda. i got the pattern here. it's a crafty blog that is both inspiring and horribly intimidating.

jumpajumpajumpa

when i vaccuum the kids think its good fun to get into the cribs and jump up and down. isaiah just giggles and giggles the entire time.

blue man group(kid)

every day we go to the bank ellen gets a sucker and i let isaiah have one for the first time this week. he was quite thrilled with it. but he hasn't got it completely figured out - he used the sucker part for a handle and chewed on the stick for at least half the time. that's a seriously blue tongue.