i think i might be just a bit crazy

i really like reading through my archives. i like remembering what we've done and seeing how the kids are growing/progressing and being shocked at how things that I thought happened a long time ago, really happened just a few short weeks ago. for instance, we took the tray off of isaiah's high chair so he can eat at the table with us. and lo and behold, he no longer bangs his head against the back of the chair scooting all over the place. he sits calmly and nicely and eats his food. poor guy was lonely and wanted to be a big kid. but my point was it seems like we did that a long time ago, when really there are pictures of him with the tray as recently as march. i also learned somethings about myself when looking through the past last night. 1) my nose ring is on the wrong side! when i looked at it in the pictures, it looks backwards. maybe that's the mirror effect or something, but its a very weird feeling to feel like its on one side and then you see it somewhere else. 2)i practice quite a bit of self doubt and second guessing. especially when i'm irritated about something - i tend to be far too understanding and rationalizing of other peoples behavior and blame myself for whatever the problem is. well, not really blame, maybe more of see my own role as bigger than it really is. 3) i go through cycles - so, for instance, i really like baking for a while, and then mysteriously quit for a month or two and forget all about it. and then i rediscover it and get all excited about it again, while somehow never really remembering that this is something i've always liked. and that's all i can remember right now.